Contrary to its persistent popular reputation as a den of chaos and sin, the modern adult industry is actually shockingly calm and orderly. Most porn producers and crews take pains to follow industry standards of safety and professionalism, and any performer who sticks around for more than a few months puts in serious prep work for scenes. That’s why even the most seemingly wild and free-wheeling scenes often go off without a hitch: They’re really carefully choreographed.

But, as in any industry, things can go off the rails. Sometimes people cut corners, or exploit their colleagues or employees, creating the big, tawdry scandals that tabloids and moral crusaders love to fixate on. However, more often things just go awry in a best laid plans sort of way. And because porn involves writhing bodies, with all their squishy bits and fluids, when a shoot goes awry, things can get real wacky and eye-popping, real fast. Most performers have their fair share of stories of diarrheic anal and vomit-inducing blowjobs, which often sit on the edge of horrific and hilarious.

In the spirit of Spooky Season — and in memory of porn parody and comedy studio Wood Rocket’s short-lived Halloween tradition — Mashable asked 10 performers to share their top on-set horror stories with us. Some of their tales, presented below, are truly terrifying and downright disgusting, while others are just rather ridiculous. But most contain nuggets of wisdom that may help anyone, industry insider or civilian (sex inevitably goes off script for all of us at some point), avoid or navigate similar mishaps.

Kate Kennedy: I do standup comedy as well as porn. I got booked for a comedy show at 7 p.m. one evening, but then I also got booked for a short blowjob scene about 35 miles away, with a call time of noon. I was sure I had plenty of time to do the scene, get cleaned up, and make it to the show. But when I got to the set, I found out that the production crew was shooting multiple porn scenes that day and mine wouldn’t begin until 3 p.m. After an hour or so, I started to get antsy. I explained my situation — that I needed to leave by 5 p.m. at the latest — to the cast and crew. Luckily, another girl with an earlier scene was willing to trade spots with me, so I was able to begin my scene early, and it was going swimmingly despite the countdown clock in my head.

Then, when we’d almost finished the scene, something went wrong: I was on my back with my head hanging off a couch while this dude pounded the absolute fuck out of my throat. He pulled out, so I thought I had time to swallow the mouthful of spit I’d accumulated, and that I was now gagging on. But as I had my tongue at the back of my throat, ready to swallow, this dude slammed his cock back into my mouth, hitting my tongue from below. Boom. Blood everywhere.

The force had torn the frenulum that connected my tongue to the bottom of my mouth.

We called cut, and I frantically tried to stop the bleeding, but to no avail. So, I decided to finish the scene with my tongue held down and pressed up against my teeth to keep the blood from spilling out; my scene partner came in my face instead of in my mouth. Then, I cleaned up as fast as I could and drove to the comedy show with an ice cube under my tongue. I did an entire standup set that night with a very noticeable lisp. I mostly remember trying not to spray the audience with my tongue blood. But I still got laughs, and everything ended up being fine.

But that day, I realized I probably needed to keep my porn and comedy lives a bit more separate.

Nathan Bronson: I once did a 16-guy, three girl blowbang scene. During the scene, the three women would get covered with 50-60 bottles of whipped cream, bananas, and strawberries. I guess the idea was to make a giant banana split? So, they covered the floor with plastic. The problem being that whipped cream is oily, so the floor became more like an ice-skating rink than anything else. We had to hold some of the guys upright while the girls were working on them, just so they wouldn’t slip and slide. Thankfully, no one fell over. Until the very end, that is.

At the end, every guy needed to cum on the girls' faces. I was the last one. From the camera's perspective, you could only see their faces and a dick. But at one point, you can see them looking off camera, very worried. That's because, while trying to cum, I slipped and did a flip. The director cut the scene and came to check on me; they were very concerned that they wouldn’t be able to finish the scene. But I got up, said that I could still finish, and went on to seal the deal.

Ela Darling: About halfway through a lesbian strap-on bondage scene, which I was shooting with a partner who was a dear friend, I started getting hot and sweaty — in all the wrong ways. My muscles began to ache, and I felt feverish. I was developing all the symptoms of the flu.

I should have bowed out of the scene then. But I knew the production costs would double if we had to cut and pick things up on a different day. So, I told myself that I was just feeling off because I skipped breakfast and needed water. I hydrated, had a snack, and tried to keep going.

For the next part of the shoot, my scene partner and I got on our knees, facing each other, and had our torsos tied together with intricate rope work. Our hands were above our heads, also tied up so that they could be attached to a hook suspended from the ceiling. But once the rope work was done and we were ready to start shooting, my vision got cloudy and filled with black spots, and I broke out in a cold sweat. I worried that I might pass out. So, I finally told the crew that I was feeling dizzy and sick, and they promptly untied our hands so I could get comfortable and rest before we continued — which I still fully intended to do at that point. But it wasn’t enough.

A production assistant barely made it to me with a trash can before I started vomiting, violently and repeatedly — while my entire torso was still facing and tied up against my scene partner's.

This angel of a woman held my hair back as I leaned as far away from her as I could (which wasn't far) and emptied the contents of my stomach into a bin held by a horrified production assistant. The director had no choice but to end the shoot early and pick up a few days later.

I was absolutely mortified. The lessons I learned: If you ever start to feel unwell during sex — or during anything, really — it's better to listen to your body and call it a day than push yourself to the point of illness. Also, when you're tied against another person and start vomiting, if their reaction is to hold your hair and try to make you feel better, that person is a friend for life.

Brandi Bae: I did a really rough bondage scene once — rougher than I was used to, but I didn’t complain. However, when the shoot was over, one of my breasts looked odd: It was hanging lower than the other, and seemed kind of deformed. So, I went to the doctor’s office and they took an x-ray. The doctor told me that one of my [breast implants] had popped and I needed immediate surgery. That ended up costing me $7,000 in breast reconstruction surgery. I stopped doing that kind of scene.

Kimber Haven: I did a scene where the lead-in had me coming down a spiral staircase, looking glamorous and sexy. I got seven stairs from the bottom — and ate it, rolling down the stairs. Hair sticking up in the air, feet in the air, looking anything but glamorous in front of the whole crew

I learned not to transverse spiral staircases in seven-inch heels.

But don’t avoid accidents, is my advice. They happen. So don’t spend time worrying about it. It’s part of what makes sex compelling and desirable, beyond how good it feels — an element of danger and adventure. Never knowing what’s going to happen makes it fun.

Know your partner’s limits. Discuss them, respect them, and there shouldn’t be any problems.

If you get some bumps and bruises along the way, then you know you had a good time.

Aria Khaide: Early in my career, I’d traveled to a different city for a shoot only to realize that I'd started spotting. I didn't know how women in the industry navigated that time of the month, so I was like, Oh my gosh, do I need to cancel? I can’t cancel. I need to be professional!

However, instead of asking my industry friends what they do in this situation (because I didn’t want to seem unprepared, or to find out they'd just cancel their shoot and then have to do that myself), I asked my vanilla mom friends if they have sex with their partners when they're bleeding and how they do it. They were all like, Oh it's fine, just get one of those Diva Cups, put it in, and have sex. I’d never used one before, but I was like, Sure, okay! So, I went to the pharmacy, got one, and looked like a pubescent boy trying to put a condom on for the first time and smacking himself in the eye while I was trying to put it in, you know? But I got it in. (Editor's note: Diva Cup recommends against using the product during penetrative sex.)

Porn sex is a lot rougher than most everyday partner sex, though — and I was booked for a crazy rough scene. The sex was uncomfortable, because of the cuff, but I took it like a champ while my scene partner was pounding away, thinking that no one would ever know I was bleeding and that w'’d still have a great scene. We got everything we needed, ended the scene, and I went to the bathroom on set to take a shower and get cleaned up. But I didn't think to get into the shower before removing the cup. And because my scene partner had been pounding away, things had gotten pretty messy. So, I pulled it out and… suddenly this bathroom looked like a horror scene.

There were only white towels in the bathroom, so I’m grabbing tissues and paper towels and trying to clean everything up so it doesn't look like I just killed someone. I’m thinking, Oh my gosh, I’m taking too long, they're going to think something's gone wrong. I was mortified.

But I got out of there alright. Later, I told a friend in the industry about this and asked her what she does when she's bleeding. She said, "What the heck are you talking about with these cups? We all just insert a makeup sponge." She also told me that guys in the industry are usually pretty chill and don’t get skeeved out by blood like a non-industry boyfriend might. So, the next time I was bleeding, I used a sponge and told my scene partner. He just said, "Don’t worry, we’ll put you in this position so the cameras won’t see any blood." And it was all totally fine.

Serves me right for not just asking my friends with industry experience from the start.

Lucy Hart: I was cast as Batman in a BDSM scene. Catwoman had me on the floor, flat on my back, bound at my wrists and ankles and gagged. She was supposed to squirt on my face at the end of the scene. So, she stood over me, and I suddenly saw and felt a lot of liquid hit me fast; most of it went up my nose, blocking my breathing. I couldn’t clear it, with the way my head was tilted back. Then, the girl screamed, “Oh my God, did I get it on my costume!?” and ran off set. Whatever came out of her wasn’t the typical squirt. The director chased after her immediately to see if she was okay — leaving me drowning on the floor in whatever came out of her.

After what felt like a couple of minutes of wondering if I'd die dressed like Batman, I decided to just swallow whatever this fluid was, so that I might be able to breathe through the gag. It worked.

Someone came back to untie me eventually. I never asked what came out of her. I'm pretty sure it wasn’t pee. But I don’t think Batman needed to know. I got my money and left. Her costume was fine.

If someone is going to squirt on your face, consider your need to breathe first.

Misha Montana: I had a stroke this April, and was set for heart surgery a couple weeks later. I shot a post-stroke comeback scene in May, with Tommy Pistol, while wearing a heart monitor. At the end of the scene, Tommy accidentally came all over the heart monitor. A little while later, I got a report from my cardiologist that my heart activity was “unusual” on that day.

Tommy Pistol came on my broken heart. 

Carmela Clutch: Once, when I got on set for a boy-girl-girl scene, the other female talent asked if I knew the male talent, who was also the director for the shoot. I admitted that I hadn’t met him, but said that I was a big fan of his work. She said that he was "really freaky" and into some "nasty shit." I didn't realize the gravity of her words, so I laughed and said, "Whatever, I’m down for anything." Then 15 minutes before the scene started, she downed a bag of kettle corn.

The scene started off seamless: I was giving this guy some of the best sloppy-toppy head that I'd ever given at that point in my career. Then, we switched off and the other woman went to work on him. She went deeper and deeper, throating his entire massive dick, until she eventually gagged and up came the entire party-sized bag of kettle corn that she'd pounded down earlier!

The guy, who was holding the camera, panned over to me, smiled, and said, "your turn, unless you want to cut." I was eager to prove my sexual prowess, so I only hesitated for a millisecond before I decided to go for it. I was actually excited, but caught completely off guard.

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That scene came out great. It’s one of my nastier fetish videos. But it was definitely one of the stand-out uh-oh on set moments of my career. The three of us still laugh about that moment.

Charlotte Stokely: I was filming the final scene of Terror Camp with Aidra Fox. We were both in a tent, and the director told us he’d toss a rock outside to signal us to run out, screaming in panic as a rope attached to the top of the tent flew it up into the air behind us. We practiced the scene, and it all went well. But instead of throwing a rock during the actual shoot, the director told his production assistant to sneak up behind the tent and shake it, Blair Witch-style.

The PA shook the tent and growled and I let out a deafening scream and ran out and away.

Damn, he got me so good. [Laughs.]